Lately I’ve been struggling a lot with being able to fully enjoy this season of life I’m currently in. There is always something that needs to be maintained or cleaned in our house, as well as freelance work that I need to get done, on top of taking care of Little Miss during the day. It’s not that I’m unable to handle everything on my plate, but that by “doing it all”, I find myself not really enjoying it all as much as I should.
Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself to be a very happy person in general, I just don’t think that I enjoy living in the moment as much as I should. It’s funny because I’ve always looked forward to this current season of my life where I would have my own family, home, and work that I love. So why am I not enjoying it as much as I should be?
I recently took some time to reflect on this and realized that I allow myself to get so caught up in what needs to be done on a daily basis or ways that I can get ahead, that I sometimes just forget to sit down, relax, and bask in the awesomeness that is my life. We may not be living a life of luxury, but I think we’ve created a pretty damn good life for ourselves and there is no reason why I shouldn’t be fully present and enjoying it.
I started thinking about what I can do to change my outlook and live my life in a way that I won’t have any regrets once my kids are all grown. It makes me tear up when I think about how quickly my baby girl has been growing – where did the last 10 months go?! Sometimes I think I am so focused on being super mom and trying to juggle my workload with her that I really don’t take the time to enjoy each stage that we go through. I just worry about trying to check as much off my to-do list as possible most days without losing my sanity at the same time.
The fact is, I enjoy my work and being able to make money doing something I love all at home. At the same time, I realize that this passion sometimes comes at the expense of being able to fully enjoy my family at times. The two often conflict with each other in a fight for my time and attention, and my work has won more times than I care to admit. There are many weeknights and weekends that I forfeit time with my hubby and daughter so that I can get work done. Lately as I’ve been just looking at my daughter and thinking about how quickly she’s grown, I’m realizing more and more that I will never get this time at home back with her.
I will always be able to find a way to do the work I love and make money from my passions, but I won’t always have little ones at home that want to snuggle and just simply spend time with me. Because I came to this realization, I’m making it my new mission to give myself permission to slow down and fully enjoy this time at home with my kids (Little Miss now, and hopefully a sibling for her in the next year or two) as much as possible the next few years.
I enjoy being able to work during her naps and in the early mornings at times, but I’m growing tired of working through nights and weekends and watching that opportunity for more family time slip right by. It is getting in the way of allowing me to fully enjoy this time in our lives where we have little ones running around our house. I’ve decided to not actively pursue any new freelance work, and just to continue working with the clients that I already have. It feels strange for this Type-A overachiever to just be on “cruise” setting when I’m used to being on “full throttle”, but I know this is going to be key for me finding more balance in my life.
I’m making more of an effort to embrace this season of my life in all of its glory and try not to be too hard on myself for not excelling in areas of my life that don’t directly pertain to my family. As much as I like to think I can do it all, I know in my heart that I can’t do it all well.
The more I thought about this idea, I came up with some benefits of enjoying the season of life you’re in, as well as ways to find contentment and just enjoy the here and now that I wanted to share with you all!
The benefits of enjoying the season of life you’re in:
- Feeling content and happy with life overall
- Making the most of the here and now
- Not having regrets in the future as you look back on this time in your life
Tips for finding contentment and enjoying the season of life you’re in:
1. Figure out what is most important
Write down 3-4 things that are most important to you in life right now. Realize that some of these things may not be on your list in a few years, and that’s okay. Make sure that what you spend your time on is a direct reflection of the 3-4 things that are currently the most important to you.
2. Make your to-do list shorter
I have been so guilty of making such long to-do lists lately that there is no way I could accomplish it all over the course of several days, much less in one day. I am then left feeling unaccomplished at the end of the day, since I am barely able to make a dent in what I wanted to get done. Be reasonable with what you are able to get done on any given day and keep it to 2-3 priority tasks.
3. Enjoy the process of accomplishing your to-do list
Rushing through tasks the entire way isn’t a good way to slow down and appreciate your life for what it is. I enjoy accomplishing my to-do list so much more when I make it fun to get through. For example, singing and dancing with my daughter in between washing dishes or folding the laundry is a heck of a lot more fun than trying to do it all as quickly as possible while she’s getting frustrated that I’m not paying attention to her. I find myself a lot more joyful when I have this mindset going into tasks.
4. Allow yourself to slow down
If you are like me and tend to feel guilt when you aren’t as productive as you could be on any given day, try to cut yourself some slack. Sometimes it’s just more important to spend time with family and friends or relax and unwind instead of fretting about what you need to accomplish. The work will always be there, but the people we love will not!
Final thoughts
Maybe you’re a single person who is eager to find your soul mate and settle down, or a Mom like me who at times can’t wait to be “out of the trenches” of baby and toddlerhood and have your kids in school full-time. Whatever your season of life is right now, I encourage you to slow down and just enjoy it. Time truly does go by so quickly, and you will never again experience the same moments that you are right now. Take the time to appreciate it and soak up everything this season of life has to offer you!
Do you have a difficult time slowing down and enjoying the season of life that you’re in? What are some ways that help you feel more content?
When my son was little I used to try to freeze time. I’d think, oh, this is a perfect age, I wish it would last forever. Then when it was gone, I’d do it again and again and again. No matter how hard I tried, time just kept slipping through that hour glass. Children take so much attention, I’m always amazed at how many of you ladies are able to work when they’re around. I was never able to focus like that. When I wasn’t playing with or feeding or bathing him, I was cleaning house and grabbing some “me time” whenever I could. You’re doing great, Christina. You have great instincts for health and happiness. 🙂
So true, Kay! Haha some days I’m not sure how I’m able to work at all either, but overall I really do enjoy my work and consider it my “me time” most of the time. Although cleaning and cooking definitely fall through the cracks a lot over here, something I’m hoping will improve by reducing the amount of work I take on! Thanks for the words of encouragement 🙂
I cannot tell you how much I needed to read this today – thank you. I, too, have a little one and also one on the way. I have been offered a part time position at my current job and have a full time opportunity somewhere I have wanted to be too. I have been so worried about my decision – what if I don’t take the new opportunity and I never can work there ever again because positions are few and far between? Then I wrestle with having more time with my kids and that’s what FEELS right, yet I am afraid to not be the one to “take a chance.” You have given my gut more of what it has been saying- sometimes (often) that instinct is really what you should follow. Love your blog, and love this post!
Aw thank you so much Elizabeth! I know, it’s so tough to make that decision but I really do think that listening to your gut will make you happiest in the end. It can be really difficult to turn down a great opportunity like that, but I think reminding yourself that some way or another you can always find an open position, but can’t get back that time with your kiddos, can really help to solidify your decision 🙂
This is wonderful. I think all of us can suffer from a little season-of-life jealousy, and what you’ve outlined here is really helpful!
Absolutely, Daisy! It’s important to keep it all in perspective.
Kudos to you for enjoying these moments with your little one! They certainly do go by so quickly and, before you know it, she will be a teenager immersed in her own world. Grasp every hug, every smile, every word!
I need to work on the shorter to do list. I find contentment just being in the same room with the rest of the family, even if we’re all on our iPads and the teenagers have headphones in;0)
Thank you Jayleen! Oh the teenage years….I was a fiesty one during those years to my own Mom, so I’m really not looking forward to the karma headed back my way haha.
This post was AWESOME! Seriously, I love your blog so much and you and I have so much in common. I have been dealing with the exact same issues lately. I actually just quit a freelance job that I’ve had for almost three years! I loved the company, but everything all together was just too much. Something had to give. April will be my highest month in a while (I’ll post the income report soon) but come May it’s slowing down. Just like you – I want my time with my kids. This week has been one of my slowest and I actually took a nap while my girls napped. I haven’t done that in…forever?!
You’re so right about always being able to find work, but not always having little ones at home. That should be our focus!! I also am getting really into working out and cooking healthy foods, something that my entire family can benefit from!
Over the weekend I was reading about something similar to this and the author of the book mentioned to create “to do” lists for the week, not the day. He says we tend to overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can do in a week, and therefore should always make to do lists focused on the week. He also stressed the importance of a sabbath.
As if this couldn’t be any longer lol, that same book also said how the past doesn’t exist and the future doesn’t either. All we have is “today,” “this moment right now.” That’s been REALLY resonating with me lately. I want to live my life NOW. I do love working, but my family is first 🙂
Thanks for the post!! You are right on with this one 🙂
Thanks so much Sarah!! Haha we really do, it’s such a shame that we don’t live closer. I think we would have a lot of fun hanging out with our girls 🙂 Maybe someday we’ll be able to get together!
Good for you, that takes some big guts to be able to quit something so stable. Funny, as of April 1st I quit a freelance job I had for over 2 years and it was my most consistent work! Where do the similarities stop? I just took my first nap in forever during the day during Little Miss’s nap time earlier this week, and it was HEAVEN. I felt like such a better and more patient Mom afterwards.
AMEN! I am trying to get into cooking more in general, it just wasn’t possible to keep up with on a consistent basis with how much I was working. I hated the feeling of knowing I was just doing the bare minimum each day to get by around the house. It made me feel like an awful Mom & Wife!
That is such an interesting concept, I should really try that! What was the book you were reading? I’d love to check that out too, sounds like he had some awesome advice.
Thanks for taking the time to share your experience with this too, it’s always so nice to know I’m not alone 🙂 I appreciate you, friend!
“Whatever your season of life is right now, I encourage you to slow down and just enjoy it.” I’m starting to realize just how wise this is. I have a lot of goals and I’m spinning a lot of plates right now, and honestly keep thinking about how I’m ‘building a better future for myself and my family.’ But when I’m done accomplishing those goals, how many years will have gone by? I need to enjoy where I am in life instead of looking towards “someday” when I’ve accomplished my goals.
So true DC! It’s something I have been struggling with as well. I justify all the extra hours I work as contributing to a better financial future for my family, but it has really come at the expense of not enjoying this precious time when my daughter is an infant to the fullest. I think there is a balance between the two and I’m working very hard to find it 🙂
This is such a great post! I definitely need to slow down more but I try really hard to embrace where my life is right now currently. I knew that this year would be a heavy work year and not that exciting but I’m trying to make the best of it and I really enjoy the time I spend with my family and just the little things we do like play games and watch movies at the house. I’m proud of you for realizing that your daughter won’t be young forever and impressed by how you’re trying to make the most of your time together. Kids grow up….FAST and it’s fun to cherish and enjoy each stage of life they go into. I have such great memories of just playing around with my son on the floor and helping him learn how to walk. I believe that when you stop to enjoy the season that you are in, you will have less regrets in the future.
Thank you Chonce! That’s so great that you are still making your best effort to enjoy what is a hectic year for you, and still make time with your family a priority. It really does go by so quickly, by the time I start really enjoying a particular stage, I feel like it’s already gone in the blink of an eye!
I’m terrible about this. My issue is worrying about the future too much to enjoy the present. My husband has been a good influence there, but it’s still a struggle.
Maybe once we’re done this huge medical bill it’ll be easier? Probably not, but hope springs eternal.
That’s great that your hubby helps to recenter you, I find that my husband is the same way and it’s been helping me to find a better balance! I sure hope that it will be easier for you once you pay this bill off 🙂
Excellent, thoughtful post. It is crucial to savor the gifts that each season of life gives. Stress and tragedy will come. In the midst of it, we have either savored the good, or not.
Thanks so much Kathleen! I love that, and it’s so true. It’s up to us to relish the good moments 🙂
We are the same person and this is exactly why I want to take 6 months off from my business when I have Allie in September. I can’t relax if my to-do list isn’t done and I want to do everything perfectly and give 110% all the time. I’m worried Allie won’t get my full attention. I’m bookmarking this page and will read again when Allie is 6 months.
I 100% support that decision Sara! I only took 2 weeks off after having Little Miss and it was the biggest mistake. Those newborn days were made so much more stressful by the workload I piled up onto myself. I definitely don’t want that for you, I’ll talk you out of working if it comes down to it 🙂
This is something I think about all the time! It’s easy for me to get preoccupied with work, and when that happens, I’m not really “all there.” It isn’t fair to my kids or to me! My oldest daughter just turned six and my youngest is still three. They won’t be young like this forever. You really do have to be mindful about your time or it disappears. I have to force myself to disconnect from work, but it is worth it.
So true Holly! Those are such fun ages too when I’m sure they are saying the funniest things 🙂 It is definitely worth it to fully disconnect from work to enjoy family time. I’m happy I’m learning this lesson now when I can still enjoy these early years.
Great post. Even though we don´t have kids yet, my husband and I really enjoy spending time together, just hanging out, the two of us. I know these are years and moments we´ll never get back, and once we do have children everything will change, so we do our best to enjoy the now. And sometimes that does mean working less, but we don´t really struggle too much with that decision. Debt payoff is a journey, not a race, and while it´s important to us, it´s not our #1 priority.