With juggling my business, my family, and all of the other responsibilities I have, I often have a difficult time with being fully present. I am guilty of daydreaming when I should be focused on the task at hand, looking at my phone while also having a conversation, and allowing myself to become caught up in multitasking and rushing through my to-do list. More often than not, I’m not 100% engaged in any given moment.
While I realize that it is essentially impossible to be 100% focused all of the time, being fully present is something that I’m really trying to make more of a priority in my life. Even though Little Miss is only 9 months old, she is becoming more and more aware of my actions and habits, and I don’t want her first memories to be ones where her Mom was fixated on her phone checking emails or half-heartedly listening to her story because my mind was elsewhere. The thought of that makes me sad, and because of that, I’ve been making more of a conscience effort to be fully present when I am spending time with her.
Although my motivation to be fully present is coming from time spent with my daughter, I think that this can be applied to any relationship or experience. Whether you’re spending time with friends, going for a walk around your neighborhood, or even just waiting in line at the grocery store, I think there is a lot you can miss out on if you choose to partially disengage from your surroundings and not bask in the current moment a bit more.
We live in a world where the present is often overwhelmed by a lot of “noise”. At any given point in time, there are several distractions surrounding us in the form of ads, tablets, tvs, phones, etc. We are constantly bombarded with an overload of the senses and an abundance of information at our fingertips. While this information can be extremely useful, it also makes it difficult to be fully present because it creates a lot of enticing distraction.
Some of the advantages I find in being fully present:
- Calmness – I’m not as antsy thinking about everything I need to get done, but instead just focus on enjoying the here and now. There’s a real sense of peacefulness that comes from it.
- Clarity and focus – I’m able to give my full attention to what I’m currently doing. Whether that’s playing with my daughter or creating a marketing plan for a client, being fully present allows me to not only do a better job, but to enjoy it more as well.
- More meaningful conversations – When I’m fully participating in a conversation and truly taking the time to listen to what the other person has to say, I find that I always take something important away from the discussion. Whether it’s a lesson or something I learned about the person, there is a lot to be gained from being present and actively engaged.
- Appreciating the little things more – It’s easy to overlook all of the simple pleasures in life when you are trying to do too many things at once. It’s really a shame, because sometimes we can be so fixated on creating our ideal, happy life, that we forget to see the happiness and pleasure that are already right in front of us.
Here are some ways to be fully present and enjoy any given moment:
Focus on one task at a time
This is a big one for me. I am someone that can start to feel overwhelmed quite quickly if I have a lot of different tasks and things I’m juggling. I remember when I was younger and feeling like my head was spinning over a project or studying for a final, my Mom would always tell me to just calm down and take one thing at a time. This seems like such a simple piece of advice, but one that is so helpful when actually implemented! If you are stressing out about everything that needs to get done, you are going to waste away your time with worry instead of actually accomplishing things.
Make eye contact when you’re having a conversation
You don’t have to be creepy about it, but show the person you are having a conversation with that their words aren’t falling on deaf ears. Make eye contact and be engaged in what they have to say. There’s nothing worse than sharing a piece of your soul or a story with someone and then realizing that their mind is elsewhere and your words have been essentially wasted. Whether it’s your spouse, your child, or the elderly lady at the grocery store, make an effort to pay attention to what they have to say.
Engage your senses
Whether it’s enjoying the taste of a decadent dessert, the smell of an aromatic candle, the touch of being wrapped up in a soft blanket, the sound of your kids giggling, or the sight of a beautiful sunset, try to pick a sense to focus on and allow yourself to fully experience and soak it up. Making the focus on a particular sense can be a good way to force yourself to slow down and allow yourself to process the moment instead of rushing through it.
Remove extra apps from your phone
I found that by deleting the Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest apps off of my phone, I am not nearly as drawn to it and checking everything like I used to be. I would obsessively check these apps on my phone, and not only was it a time suck, but it really took away from just enjoying my day. I would get wrapped up in what was happening in the world of social media instead of my own life. I still check my emails on my phone throughout the day, but I try to stay off of it otherwise so that I’m not distracted by anything unnecessary.
Find a way to bring spontaneity into your day
It can be easy to be on autopilot with your day-to-day schedule, but it is important to spice it up a bit each day so that you are able to actually enjoy the present. I’ll admit that it becomes a bit more difficult to enjoy the present if it becomes monotonous and boring. It doesn’t having to be an extravagant change of plans, but it could be as simple as taking a longer (but more beautiful) route on your drive home from work, or having an impromptu picnic in the backyard for dinner. Life is a lot more fun when you try to do things out of the ordinary!
Do you struggle with being fully present? What are some ways to be fully present that you’ve found are helpful in slowing down and enjoying the now?
My attempt at being “present” centers around not being on my phone or computer once the kids get home from daycare and school. It’s hard to get away from work at times, but I almost always set aside that time for my family.
That’s wonderful that you make a point to do that Holly!
When I’m not in a rush getting from one place to another, I try to take the longer (and more beautiful) route. It helps me appreciate my surroundings and notice things in my neighborhood I don’t always have the opportunity to pay attention to. 🙂
It’s so great, isn’t it? And amazing how making such a small change can have such a big impact on our day!
I’m definitely working on the one task at a time thing! It’s so hard. I just want to get so many things done at once that I leave laundry in the hallway, the sheets off the bed but no new ones on, e-mails opened but not answered. I’m a mess lol. Thanks for the tips!
It really is difficult! I’m the exact same way most days, it’s a struggle for me. Pre-baby days I was incredibly more focused….now I’m a hot mess hah.
I think it’s great that you are trying to be more full present when you are with your daughter. I agree my phone and email are major distractions
Thanks Chonce!
This is exactly the reason why hubs and I are ditching our iPhones and going back to non-smart phones! They are the worst distraction ever! Totally agree with all of this!
That’s so awesome that you and your hubby are taking that route Jess! I give you both major props, as most people probably wouldn’t go that route. They really are the worst distraction. I have a love/hate relationship with them though since having one gives me a peace of mind with my work throughout the day too so that my clients feel taken care of without me actually needing to be physically in front of my laptop. I would be really enticed to get rid of mine too if it weren’t for that. I just need to work on not doing anything else on my phone when the Little Miss is awake!
It amazes me how much more complicated life has become with all of the technology that is supposed to make it easier!
I’ve been reflecting on this very topic today and I’m so glad I came across what you had to say! It completely resonates with me. I have a bit of the “smartphone attached to my hand at all times” sickness. I call it a sickness because when I don’t have it…I actually feel anxiety!
I love the idea of deleting social media from my phone. It’s crazy how much a time-suck it really is! Every free minute my mind gets pulled to…I wonder what notifications I have waiting for me. Big sigh…
So here I go…starting a way of life that’s actually *gasp* unplugged 🙂
It amazes me too Debra! It is so easy to fall prey to. I’m so glad that this resonated with you and came at a good time in your life. Good luck with unplugging, please do let me know how it goes 🙂
That was beautiful, Christina. I must admit I giggled at “you don’t have to be creepy about it” with the making eye contact thing. HA HA! We’ve all been in those situations. 😛
You are going to teach your daughter such happy life lessons. She is truly blessed. 🙂
Haha thanks so much Kay, glad you enjoyed my attempt at humor ;).
You are so sweet, thank you for that. I really do try! I am the one that’s blessed though 🙂
Yes, to this entire post! I’ve been working on being more present in all that I do, and it actually gives me more energy. I think I get tired when my mind is constantly multitasking, and of course it also means I don’t really pay attention to anything in particular!
Such a good point Daisy! I have so much more energy when I am more present too. Multitasking is exhausting!
My husband and I are actually really good about not being on our phones when we´re with each other. It´s weird but we seem to forget about them altogether, and often accidentally leave them at home if we go out together somewhere (I end up remembering when I can´t take a selfie, ha!). Otherwise, though, man. My phone is a huge distraction, especially at work. I work FOR a cell-phone company, so we´re very much encouraged to be on our phones all the time. I have to set time limits for myself, otherwise I would never get any work done!
That is awesome Chela! My hubby and I need to work on that….we are constantly on our phones. It’s really bad!
This is really tough for me. I’m able to do it when I spend time with Lylah, but that’s only a couple of times per week. I think I might delete facebook and twitter with Allie is born. Thanks for the tips!
That’s not a bad idea Sara! I’ve deleted Facebook quite a few times since Little Miss has been born, and always feel really good about it when I’m able to last a few weeks. I must admit that in the early days of nursing for hours a day, it was kind of nice to be able to look at Facebook on my phone to use feeding time as “me” time too and reconnect with the world a bit.
This is great!! I try daily to be more present in my girls lives. It’s SO easy to text, check my mail, check the weather, etc and not fully pay attention to them. I agree with you – that makes me sad!! I try to never open my computer when they’re awake and I check my phone only if they are actually playing with each other and having fun. Technology is a HUGE distraction these days!!
Very true! I also check the weather a lot… like multiple times a day. I think in the winter I was hoping the -2 degree days would all of a sudden turn into the 80s or something 😉 Haha.
Such a lovely post with great tips! It does seem difficult to be present with modern technology and social media vying for attention. What a smart move to delete some apps from your phone. My mom always said something very similar to yours about just taking it one thing at a time when I would stress about school work etc back in the day. It really is great advice.
Thank you Jennifer! Love that. I feel like the older I get, the more I reflect on all of the advice my Mom has given me throughout the years and realize how fantastic it all was 🙂
I can totally relate to you. I find it quite difficult to balance my 9-5 job, my own business and my family life. But I made myself a schedule, so I try to stick to it as much as possible. So whenever is my family time, I don’t do any work, not even checking my Twitter or Facebook. But it is challenging 🙂
That’s awesome Reelika! It’s always a work in progress for me, but it’s so worth just focusing on that family time when we do get it 🙂
After reading this I decided to take my Facebook app off my phone for a week. Wish me luck!
That is awesome Tara! Let me know how it goes – I’m sure you’ll feel a lot more free 🙂