Are you 100% happy with your life and who you are as a person right at this very moment?
My guess would be that if you are reading this, your answer is likely “no”. If it’s “yes”, then by all means please skip the rest of this post 🙂
I think the true secret of happiness is knowing that it’s an inside job. That you can have a crap job, live somewhere less than desirable, possibly even have health problems, and yup – you can still be extremely happy.
It’s about realizing that life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you. So despite all of the crappiness and outside factors that life may throw your way, it’s up to you to not use that as an excuse to choose self-pity instead of embracing happy.
I am no stranger to being dealt a bad hand at certain times in life and using it as an excuse to be miserable and let that misery completely take over my life. I’ve struggled with depression and know firsthand that finding happiness is something only you can do for yourself. It’s not something that can be bought or physically acquired or that someone else can pull you into. You have to do the work to get the results!
After working on myself and my own growth, I’ve realized that having a high sense of self-worth or a high self-esteem and knowing you are worthy of being happy, is the key to true happiness and leading a fulfilled and joyful life.
I’m going to say that again.
Knowing as a truth that you are worthy of happiness = experiencing a high level of happiness.
So if someone hasn’t told you this lately, know that YOU are worthy of happiness and living a wonderful life ♡ We all are.
Sometimes our self-esteem just needs a little work to get to that place where we can experience that sense of worthiness, and that’s where today’s tips come in. I want to share some steps to help you increase your self-esteem and find that inner happiness you so deserve!
I also created a workbook for you to work through while you read through this post. It will help you to implement the steps below, so be sure to use the form below to download it for free before you continue! 🙂
INCREASE SELF-ESTEEM WORKBOOK
A comprehensive 7-page workbook to help you increase your self-esteem and find that inner happiness you so deserve!
Steps to Increase Self-Esteem & Find Inner Happiness:
1. Get to know yourself
Take some time to sit down with your workbook and fill in your answers to these questions.
- How others describe me:
- How I would describe myself:
- Activities that help me relax:
- My most important goals right now:
- How I plan to achieve these goals:
- 3 new activities or hobbies I want to try:
- Places I want to visit in my life:
- Skills I want to acquire:
- Things I will miss about my current season of life 5-10 years from now:
- If a magic genie granted me 3 wishes, I would wish for:
What makes you tick? What brings you joy? What values are important to you? What are you passionate about? Take some time to get to know yourself and who you really are as a person. This exercise can be a great way to unearth things about yourself that maybe you never knew before!
2. Remove the negativity in your life
Perhaps this is in the form of bad habits or even negative people in your life. Surrounding yourself with negative energy is a surefire way to get wrapped up in negative thoughts yourself. If something or someone is taking away from your ability to feel happy and peaceful, something needs to be done to deal with it or remove that negativity from your life completely.
The negative thoughts you have yourself are likely the biggest culprit and source of negativity in your life. Try your best to not allow yourself to get caught up in negative thoughts or let them consume you.
Use your workbook to make a list of where you tend to experience the most negativity in your life. Sometimes the simple act of writing this down can help us to feel more aware and fix the problem head-on!
Related: How to Stop Wasting Your Energy on Toxic People
3. Use positive affirmations
Using positive mantras or affirmations to help solidify positive thoughts in your mind can be such a helpful tool to get through the hard days! It might seem silly to repeat a phase to yourself throughout the course of the day, but just try it! Especially if you are having a tough time, it can be more empowering than you might imagine 🙂
Some positive affirmations I personally love:
- I am worthy.
- I am good enough as I am.
- What matters most is how I see myself.
- My life is a great one.
- I can do hard things.
- Every day I’m closer to becoming the best version of myself.
List your favorite positive affirmations in your workbook right now that you think will be helpful to you when you’re struggling and need some uplifting encouragement.
4. Get support
Ask friends or family for additional support to help you accomplish the goals you want to achieve. Or maybe even seek out a therapist if you feel you have some tough things you’d like to work through with the help of a professional. We all need help and can’t do this thing called life alone! Surrounding ourselves with positive and uplifting people who support us unconditionally is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. So if you haven’t found your tribe of people to support you in that capacity yet, put yourself out there to meet and befriend those people. It’s worth the effort and is so important!
Make some notes in your workbook and list out either who is currently in your life that you’re going to enlist support from, or alternatively – how you are going to put yourself out there to make new friends and create that support for yourself if it’s not already there.
5. Give yourself grace
Let go of perfectionism and give yourself the same forgiveness you give to others. We are all on a journey of improving ourselves and constantly making progress and no one can be expected to be perfect all of the time, yourself included! Don’t beat yourself up and make yourself feel worse when you mess up or make a mistake. Forgive yourself, move on, and grow from that experience.
What are some things you can give yourself more grace and forgiveness for? Make a list in your workbook and then allow yourself to move upwards and onwards and get over these mental hurdles.
6. Listen to what your heart really wants
Sometimes our hearts tell us things we don’t want to hear. Maybe this comes in the form of a gut feeling that we ignore because it requires us to make decisions that are hard or uncomfortable or require more strength from us than we feel we have to give. Listen to your heart anyway and try to make decisions and choices in your life that align with what you truly want, not what you think you should want.
Are there things you think your heart wants right now that perhaps you haven’t been listening to? Take a minute to think about this and write those down in your workbook.
7. Practice gratitude
There is good to be found in every single day if we look for it. Even on the days where it seems like there is nothing to smile about or that the entire day is just terrible, I can guarantee that there are still at least a handful of things you can be grateful for in your life. Gratitude is funny in that the more you start looking for it, the more you start seeing it and experiencing it. It doesn’t have to be anything big either, it can be simple things like “I’m grateful I have legs to go for a walk” or “I’m grateful I can take a deep breath right now to feel more calm”.
Make a practice of writing down 3 things you’re grateful for at the end of every day to remind yourself of the good that can be found in each day if you look for it. Start now by filling in this section of your workbook and writing down 3 things you feel grateful for today.
What are your challenges with self-esteem and finding inner happiness? Do you think following these steps will be helpful to you or is there anything else you would add?
Don’t forget to grab your free workbook!
INCREASE SELF-ESTEEM WORKBOOK
A comprehensive 7-page workbook to help you increase your self-esteem and find that inner happiness you so deserve!
I always enjoy your blog.
Simple but touching. Keep writing..
Lauren Mitchell says
Very helpful post!
Such a great list of questions to ask yourself. Thank you for the inspiring creative process. The idea of thinking about what you will miss in this phase of your life in 5 years struck me hard. Love it!
BEthany | Mama Finds Her Way says
So many great ideas in this post, Christina!
I used to think that positive affirmations and gratitude were a waste of time. I finally gave them a shot because they are easy and don’t take much time. I was so surprised by what a difference they made!
I would also add that starting to exercise regularly has dramatically improved my self confidence. It helps me feel better in my own skin and I feel accomplished afterwards.
Erika @ Just Letter-Perfect says
Great post! I worked in a hotel once where it was SUCH a negative environment! There was so much gossip and talking behind everyone’s back and just so much negativity going around every day. Soul-sucking is what it was, and it was really hard to stay out of it. If you have a choice, I definitely agree to take yourself out of that situation and stop surrounding yourself with those people because it does rub off on you.
Finding joyful people to hang out with is just what the doctor ordered. 🙂
Very cool post and cool way to express the ideas of inner peace.
Some stories do tell about the insights of life like happiness and fear.
When we conquer our fear, the happiness translates the new aspects of life.
Read the story of Kloy and his adventure of finding peace.
Lisa O says
This was a nice read. Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🙂
Michael Wilson says
Don’t compare yourself to others – compare yourself to who you were yesterday. You might not be able to be better than some super successful guy by tomorrow, but you can definitely be at least a little bit better than you are today, if only in some small way.
Ashley @ Blissfulmomboss says
Great post! Growing up, I had such a hard time with my self-esteem and learning to love myself.
It wasn’t until I started to hang out with people who were positive rolemodels in my life that helped me boost my confidence.
I still struggle once in awhile but I use daily affirmations to help me get through the day and they work for me.
Royah@ Insider Mom says
The steps you mention make total sense. Also, as a another reader mentioned, avoiding comparison is key. No matter where you’re at. It’s easy for people to compare. People are at different stages on their life journey, with different circumstances, difficulties and opportunities. Everyone is worthy of happiness, but totally agree that each person has to work on cultivating it themselves as well and try their best to surround themselves with those that lift them up.
I just stumbled upon this blog post, and just in time to break some negative habits in the new year!
I love posts like this that focus on the surrounding theme of mindfulness and self love. My blog, The Zen Studio, is very similar. I think it’s really important that this information and helpful tips are out there for readers to absorb ♥
Mrs S@whenfithitstheshan says
I love this post! Thank you for sharing your ideas. I especially love the idea of giving yourself grace. Perfection is never the answer, and yet I try over and over to be perfect. It’s great to remember that I don’t have to be perfect.
I also loved the concept that life doesn’t happen to you, life happens for you. It makes me want to take control and have my life happen for me today.
Fiona Manoon says
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Thanks for sharing such a delicious recipe with us.
Jay Liew says
Thank you for sharing this article. I think in a society we are living in, we’re all so caught up with the busy world, we forget that finding inner peace can take off our stress away.
I am personally an advocate of looking into ourselves before changing others. If we want to feel calm and at peace, we need to ensure our own inner mind is.
Your article has great tips and I’m sure others can learn from it.
If you don’t mind, here’s something I have as well on:-
15 Small Habits Anyone Can Start Today To Find Inner Peace.
I hope everyone finds peace and reaps it benefits. Cheers
Bella Marin says
Such a wonderful article! Thanks for sharing
Ashley Hoober says
I think, in my life personally, the feeling of worthiness was the key to my true happiness. My life reached its full potential (or closer to it) when I said to myself “You deserve this life because you worked for it”.
Take are of yourself, lovely people!!!
I just discovered your blog. Its beautiful and beneficial! I am going to share this post with my 16 year old daughter. It’s perfect for where she is in life right now! Thank you!
It’s so so sad when people don’t realise how wonderful they are and feel like they don’t deserve to be happy and follow their dreams! I really hate it. I wish everyone would find the confidence to do whatever it is their hearts desire. It’s scary but so worth it. <3
This is beautiful, thank you very much for your article, it has lifted my spirit.it is important to know yourself ,be positive and to be grateful always
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Becca @ We Are Dallas Fort Worth says
I am a dedicated gratitude journalist. So important! And a huge life changer.
Um MISHAEL @allmomsblog says
I am so much in love with your post. It is so important to understand your worth.
Great tips! Thank you!
“Happiness is an inside job” – wise words 🙂
amanda@manda hope says
You have written about this subject beautifully. I especially agree with using gratitude. I keep a gratitude journal and it really helps.
Christie hawkes says
Hello Christina! I found your blog through a list of 17 Best Blogs on Mindfulness and Personal Growth. I have been using affirmations and gratitude practices for several years now and over time, they have really helped me to be more aware of what a wonderful life I really do have and also to realize that everything is transient. Savor the good times and hang on through the bad. I appreciate the advice to give myself grace and to listen to my heart. Thank you.
Ally Miller says
I LOVE this. As a young adult and student devoted to self-improvement, these tips have been so huge in my life. I just published my own blog about using a practice of gratefulness for a happier and healthier life. I would love if you could check it out and let me know what you think. https://allyemiller.wixsite.com/allyemiller/post/being-grateful-for-your-bed
Vanessa Cassani says
This is truly inspiring. Such a great article to connect with women who have these struggles as do I from time to time. We have to be in constant reminder of who we are and what are purpose is in this world.
I read your article first time and it’s very helpful me for my coming days..but I ask one question how to conquer from fear like how i will start or do anything?
Hi there Christina. Really wonderful content. I have been following your blog for more than a month. The written content has encouraged me to set up my own business, since i was lacking fulfillment in what i was doing earlier. I would be grateful if you can check this online course, and suggest if this really upto the mark. It is totally free. Sincere regards, Shank.
Sophie Turner says
Another masterpiece …..
I always use your techniques and found a great response. I like your presentation and the way you simplify a complex thing. And most importantly, keep helping all the online community members, like the way you do now. God bless you…
Practicing gratitude daily is important. This keeps the happiness in check. Good tips for Avenue South Residence 🙂
This has been really helpful. I had been so busy with everything and told myself that I cannot mess up anything. I tend to notice small things too much lately. Letting go of perfectionism is a good advice for me right now. Thank you for this.
I’d also like to share something that I use that surprised me. I spend 8 hours a day sitting in front of my computer to work. So I use this massage gun https://tawapro.com/massage-gun/ it is very therapeutic. I hope this is helpful for working people out there 🙂
Hi Christina, this is such a great post. In my opinion, overall self-esteem comes also through improving yourself and proving to yourself that you can accomplish things that you once thought was impossible. Also, it is true that we must know our worth and know that we are worthy. Here is my slightly different take on self-esteem, if you might be interested: https://theypsilonblog.com/how-to-build-self-esteem/
This information and helpful tips. Many thanks!
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Nice blog for improvement. Your content is very helpful to me. I am glad to find this information. keep sharing your blogs to help others. Looking forward to finding out more and acquire further knowledge from here. Thanks for sharing
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Andrea Palmer says
Very nice read. All the steps that you mentioned make total sense for a journey to embrace happiness. I love all your ideas especially the first one, get to know yourself. I truly believe that in order to remove negativity, welcome positive affirmations, share with others, give yourself grace, listen to your heart and practice gratitude, it is imperative to understand who we are first so all other steps can be accomplished. The 10 questions that you provided for self-discovery are wonderful. So many great ideas in this post. Thank you for sharing.
Morning Upgrade says
Wonderful article that can help people embrace the true meaning of being happy. As stated in your article in the first step, you need to know yourself to discover true happiness. The information that you have made available in the is article is highly beneficial for people. -Ryan
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Morning Upgrade says
This article has great information that can really help people learn how to embrace being happy. -Ryan
Abram Abram says
I have thought so many times of entering the blogging world as I love reading them. I think I finally have the courage to give it a try. Thank you so much for all of the ideas!
Sumit Kumar says
Very interesting and informative article. Thanks for share such type of precious article.
Nicole @ MillenialMom says
Your line about believing you are worthy of happiness before you can be happy really resonated with me. For the longest time, I thought that I didn’t deserve to be happy, so I sold myself short. I didn’t try to be happy. I stayed in relationships and jobs where I was miserable for a long time, because I thought that my life was just misery and pain, so I needed to learn to deal with it. But the reality of it is, everyone deserves to be happy. Once we realize this, we are able to take control of our destiny and create a happy life.
Using affirmations is one of the tools that I use to create a positive mindset as well, so that I can counteract all of the negative thoughts that I have about myself. The more we put positive thoughts into our lives, the more that we can create a happier and healthier mindset.
Thank you for sharing these tips, wonderful article.
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Pooja Patel says
Love the workbook questions! Self-reflection is seriously key in reaching more happiness, and your post did a great job at emphasizing that!